There are many ups and downs in dating. Sometimes it takes a lot to determine if the person you’re with is really the one. New relationships, especially, can be filled with excitement and amplified feelings of passion (and sometimes… anger.) Your new mate can set you off quickly by doing a seemingly thoughtless act, and you might feel the need to retaliate. Before you do, however, take a step back from the relationship to consider if cheating is really the way you want to go.
It is still cheating – even if you are not married yet.
Some folks believe that until they have a wedding ring on their finger they can do as they please in terms of seeing other people. That’s incorrect. Acting on this thought will likely cause trust issues for you and your partner going forward. Be clear on the boundaries – cheating is wrong if you are married or not.
Think of how your partner would feel.
Often it only takes the golden rule to drive home the point that cheating will only bring unhappiness down the road. If you’re tempted to cheat, think of how you might react if your partner would to do the same thing as you.
Talk about issues you have with your partner.
If you’re feeling tempted to cheat, there are likely underlying issues in your relationship. Perhaps you feel that the relationship is moving too fast or even that your partner might not be the right one for you. Talk about these concerns with your partner before you begin an affair.
Discover the real reason you want to cheat.
Are you bored with your partner? Do you feel hurt over something they did in the past and you’re trying to punish them? Sometimes infidelity is a reaction to other things you haven’t yet dealt with in your life. Instead of hurting your partner’s feelings and jeopardizing your relationship, work on discovering the underlying issue haunting you.
Do you feel the relationship is over?
If you believe the time with your partner has come to an end, don’t have an affair as an easy to way to end the relationship. It isn’t an easy way. Remember that affairs are hurtful and hard to get over. If you decide that you probably want to break up, be honest with your partner and tell them. If you’d like to stay together, talk to your partner to discover the reasons why you felt compelled to cheat. Decide if you want to break up or stay together. Then work towards that end.