There are many ups and downs in dating. Sometimes it takes a lot to determine if the person you’re with is really the one. New relationships, especially, can be filled with excitement and amplified feelings of passion (and sometimes… anger.) Your new mate can set you off quickly by doing a seemingly thoughtless act, and you might feel the need to retaliate. Before you do, however, take a step back from the relationship to consider if cheating is really the way you want to go.
It is still cheating – even if you are not married yet.
Some folks believe that until they have a wedding ring on their finger they can do as they please in terms of seeing other people. That’s incorrect. Acting on this thought will likely cause trust issues for you and your partner going forward. Be clear on the boundaries – cheating is wrong if you are married or not.
Think of how your partner would feel.
Often it only takes the golden rule to drive home the point that cheating will only bring unhappiness down the road. If you’re tempted to cheat, think of how you might react if your partner would to do the same thing as you.
Talk about issues you have with your partner.
If you’re feeling tempted to cheat, there are likely underlying issues in your relationship. Perhaps you feel that the relationship is moving too fast or even that your partner might not be the right one for you. Talk about these concerns with your partner before you begin an affair.
Discover the real reason you want to cheat.
Are you bored with your partner? Do you feel hurt over something they did in the past and you’re trying to punish them? Sometimes infidelity is a reaction to other things you haven’t yet dealt with in your life. Instead of hurting your partner’s feelings and jeopardizing your relationship, work on discovering the underlying issue haunting you.
Do you feel the relationship is over?
If you believe the time with your partner has come to an end, don’t have an affair as an easy to way to end the relationship. It isn’t an easy way. Remember that affairs are hurtful and hard to get over. If you decide that you probably want to break up, be honest with your partner and tell them. If you’d like to stay together, talk to your partner to discover the reasons why you felt compelled to cheat. Decide if you want to break up or stay together. Then work towards that end.
Sometimes dating can get dull. Perhaps after being in an established relationship for a long period of time, the members of the couple become used to one another and the thrill or mystery is gone. Or maybe the couple has “done everything already” together.
Even in a new and fresh relationship dating can be boring. Someone can have five first dates with five different people but every date is dinner and a movie. Different faces but same routine. Dinner at seven, movie at eight, home by eleven.
The Secret to Revamp
But there are ways to revamp a date while still keeping it simple and intriguing. The secret is being creative while still understanding what kind of date it may be. For a first date, it’s important to remember that both parties are still trying to get to know one another, and the date should be kept towards the impersonal side of the spectrum. A date for the established relationship, however, can still be creative and fun, but a little more intimate since both parties know one another better. For example, a couple could spice things up with some intimate toys or sexy phone sex, or both. This is just one of many potential options to be explored.
New and Unique Ideas
Keeping this in mind, the question gets raised, “what new ideas could there be?” There are a few activities that many people don’t know about, that can make fun dates. Depending on where you live, there are different options available, but the point is to have a fun time.
- Paint a canvas together. A canvas can be bought at any art store in a variety of sizes. While in the store, each person chooses a couple colors and a couple of different brushes. Then take all the materials to a park and create a painting together. Ideally, you would want to try to learn more about one another as you paint. The tough part is deciding who gets to keep the work of art.
- Flip a coin. This is for the more adventurous daters. Start by picking a neutral place, a place you both know, or where you first met. Then walk or drive choosing your destination by a coin flip. When you get to an intersection, heads you go right, tails you go left. Keep this up until you reach somewhere with several restaurants. Then flip a coin to see which one you go in.
- For the less squeamish, donate blood together. Then enjoy a good conversation over cookies and juice.
- Visit a museum and go on an audio guided tour. Afterwards, discuss favorite exhibits and what you each learned.
- Go to a flea market or garage sale and have a competition to see who can get the most unusual item for a dollar. The winner gets to keep the item.
- Go to a local ice cream parlor and share a big banana split, as well as good conversation.
- For a night date, when you know of clear skies around, check out a book on constellations from the library. See how many you and your date can identify.
These are just a few ideas. Using your imagination and creativity to fuel your dating life will pay off in fantastic ways. A date doesn’t have to be the same thing every time. It’s an opportunity to try new things, have fun, and learn about another person, even if you’ve been with them for a long time already.